Early Morning Whinning

Hampir jam 2 dini hari, sudah memasuki tanggal 6 Mei. I’m still sitting at the terrace, taking a cigarrete, resting a while after half work done on preparing 4 a recompilation of Marketing Management materials 4 next week’s mid-test, to be uploaded soon.

Today, i took my wife and daughter to my campus, to let them know what my grad-school looks like. They seemed enjoying the hood, especially my daughter who tended to consider it as a new playground 4 her. We headed to bintaro to my wife’s parents’ house. They’re gonna stay 4 about 3 days, Grandma’s missing my Princess Nada so bad. While me, gotta grab my bike and get back to the crib as the next 3 days there’ll be people who are doing their maintenance job to our newly resided house, repaint, redo, and others.

Still cant’t have a sleep. Besides working on the mid-test materials, it’s the many thinkings that bother me. The thinking about how i’m gonna continue my Master’s course if i can’t bear the fee. The thinking about how i’m gonna pay all my minor debts due to my struggle to feed my family. The thinking about how i’m gonna have a better working environment that where i’m in now. The thinkimg about everything a man, husband, and dad worry about. I bet God knows exactly what in the world is happening 2 me now, yet i haven’t seen any bright light as a sign to be my starting solution to all the problems. I got no guts to expose all to my friends, i see my only one brother has been so busy that i just don’t wanna give him more burden. I really wish that the imaginary ‘cash-rain’ truly existed, though it’s just a ridiculous and near-hopeless dream, but i wish it so bad now…so bad… Geez, i’m almost crying thinking all those now… Help me, God! Please…

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